How Marijuana Destroyed Me

Before Portage (How I started taking drugs / alcohol and why)

I took my first puff of marijuana in October 2014. I did that to get back at my ex and prove him something (to this day, I remain uncertain as to what I was trying to prove). I took my next hit during Christmas break of that same year. My consumption really only progressed the final week of my senior year, and it escalated faster than I even realized.

When I began College, I became very close to the smoking crew and started smoking cigarettes and weed everyday. Three years went by; I dropped out of College, lost three jobs, and what hopes I had of living a happy and healthy life. Marijuana destroyed me (read The Treacherous Pitfalls of Drugs and Alcohol).

What led me to call Portage (or how I was referred)

My mom was the one who sought out Portage because she knew how much pain I was in, and boy was I lucky she did. I was not happy at first about it because it meant that I would need to change (I hate changing). But I gave in and called Portage. Looking back at it now, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My first days at Portage                          

My first days were extremely tough. Readapting to eating three meals a day was a challenge, not to mention the overwhelming cravings for a while. I cried for home every day; I took to the driveway twice, and I refused every form of care that was passed to me. I was so scared of the girls (I would cling on to the statement of ‘I would never hangout with them on the outs’).

So far, I have been here one month and the changes in me are tremendous. I have so much more clarity, my eating habits have returned to the way they were before when I was much younger, not to mention my motivation to strive once again for a good life.

How long I’ve been at Portage and what changed

So far, I have been here one month and the changes in me are tremendous. I have so much more clarity, my eating habits have returned to the way they were before when I was much younger, not to mention my motivation to strive once again for a good life.

My mom noticed how the colouring in my face has returned, and my eyes are crystal clear. My stomach recognizes hunger instead of relying on pot to give me the munchies, and I no longer wake up feeling nauseous. All of these changes in a little more than one month seemed impossible before. I can’t wait to see the changes over six months.

How I see the future after completing the program

After I complete the program, I want to go on to the University either to study marine biology, advertisement, or Jewish studies (I would carry on my studies in Germany). I would like to study the Holocaust and tour all of the concentration camps throughout Europe.

After I complete the program, I want to go on to the University either to study marine biology, advertisement, or Jewish studies (I would carry on my studies in Germany). I would like to study the Holocaust and tour all of the concentration camps throughout Europe.

Finally, where I think I would be without Portage

If I were to manage to keep alive and escape my own drug overdose, suicidal acts and tendencies, I have no doubt I would be still heavy into my addiction. And if weed became no longer satisfying enough, harder drugs and/or suicide seem probable. I was my own enemy, and positive self-talk was not in my repertoire.

The girl in blue, Resident at Portage Atlantic (Cassidy Lake)

Centres of Portage