You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone

These are the words of Alexandre, a graduate from the adult day program in Quebec, spoken during the Recognition Ceremony held on December 8th at the Grand Théâtre de Québec.

Hi everyone, I would like to begin by expressing my gratitude and pride in standing here today, representing the graduates of Portage Quebec and sharing my story with you. It is truly a pleasure to do so.

Before I begin, I want to take a moment to commend those who have undertaken the therapeutic journey and continue to put in the effort and energy toward their recovery. Stopping substance use is extremely challenging, a choice that must be reaffirmed daily. This dedication deserves recognition.

Now, I’d like to share a bit about my journey. As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been somewhat introverted. I was never the loudest person or the one who stood out in a group. I think more than I speak. I enjoy doing my own thing quietly and am a bit of a homebody. I’ve also always had a deep passion for nature, the forest, and animals. I can still picture myself as a child with my feet in the water, searching for frogs, and I recall my mother’s reaction when I brought my discoveries home.

Growing up, I increasingly felt that these personality traits and interests made me different from the people around me-sometimes even an annoyance to them. This impression began with the bullying I endured in elementary and high school, later reinforced by comments from friends or others who made it clear that I was different, odd, and out of place. To make matters worse, I struggled greatly in academics. Simply passing a class was a cause for celebration. When I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, dyslexia, and dysorthographia, it felt like both a relief-explaining my academic challenges-and a burden that made me feel for years that I didn’t belong in the academic world. For someone passionate about biology, this was a significant hurdle.

After several failed attempts in different fields, I eventually decided to try studying biology. But the more time passed, the more I felt like an imposter, even as I achieved success after success. The scars left by the bullying were deep and so ingrained that, years later, I was convinced that the slightest mistake or misstep would expose me as someone who didn’t belong. After all, my tormentors had told me that so often-they couldn’t be wrong, could they?

Anxiety and imposter syndrome began to take up more and more space in my life. For years, I tried to manage them, but without success-it only got worse. Over time, after countless failed attempts, I ran out of solutions. The suffering had become unbearable, and I saw no alternative but substance use. At first, it offered immense relief, but over time, it consumed everything, forcing me to abandon all that I loved and valued: my job, my friends, my family, my girlfriend… Even a single day without using became unbearable.

After several unsuccessful attempts to stop using, exhausted and out of options, I turned to Portage and began therapy at the Quebec day centre. There, I learned so much about myself, the reasons that led me to substance use, the factors that could lead me back, how to manage my emotions, how to communicate healthily, how to build self-esteem, and so much more.

Today, after exactly two years and eight days of sobriety, I can say I am finally happy. Challenges and difficulties still exist, but I now have much greater confidence that I can overcome them. I’ve reconnected with my loved ones and rediscovered my passions.

Nature, the outdoors, and biology once brought me happiness and peace, but substance use had clouded my vision, allowing me to see only the negative. I saw nothing but the risk of failure in my work, the growing strain in my relationship, and discomfort in the outdoors-cold, heat, snow, and mosquitoes. Today, I still experience those concerns and inconveniences, but they pale in comparison to the joy my work, my girlfriend, and the forest bring me. They even make that joy more precious. My work once again fulfills me, and I experience success. I’ve regained the happiness I felt as a child when I lifted rocks in search of critters-and yes, I still do that at 31. I see the joy in my girlfriend’s eyes and feel it in my heart when I look at her.

Life is still full of challenges and difficulties, but I now have the tools and support to navigate them.

To conclude, I’d like to take a moment to extend a heartfelt thank you to the entire Portage team. I alone could do it, but I couldn’t do it alone. Without Portage’s help, I wouldn’t have made it. You do exceptional work, and you truly change lives. You’ve certainly changed mine.

To the counselors and staff at Portage, you’ll likely tell me that I should be proud of myself-and believe me, I am. But I also believe that you, too, can go to bed tonight feeling proud of what you accomplish every day.

Thank you.

Alexandre, Quebec Day Centre, Recognition Ceremony, 2024

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