04-15-2025
I started drinking when I was only nine years old, under pressure from my own mother. As I got older, I learned to self-harm for the numbness I craved. At just 14, I started using drugs. Some might say my consumption wasn’t severe, and my close family and friends never realized I had a problem. But my whole life, I was taught to hide my troubles-that I was the problem, that I was crazy, that I wasn’t good enough.
Portage taught me that none of that was true.
I first entered the program in March 2022-not for myself, but because my parents told me to. I had always felt like a social outcast. I was bullied, judged, and, more importantly, I played the victim. I believed the world revolved around me, that I was always right-because if I wasn’t, I would have to face the fact that I could be wrong. I set myself up for failure, refusing to learn from my mistakes or to grow. I was immature and not ready for a program that, one day, would save my life.
After just five weeks, my time at Portage ended. I spent the next year moving from place to place across Montreal. My addiction became 10 times worse as I experimented with chemical drugs and unhealthy relationships.
Above all, I was lonely. I needed stability and love, but most importantly, I needed to trust that others could give that to me. My whole life, it had been just me, myself, and I-and time and time again, I failed to protect myself from the very things I feared.
In January 2023, I reached an all-time low. Once again, I felt like there was no reason for me to live. I had no one, no home, and no hope. But in that moment, I figured I’d put my stubbornness aside and give Portage another shot.
Throughout my addiction, I never wanted to do drugs, but I felt like I needed to. I never liked losing control over myself to a substance that had failed me over and over again, putting me in harm’s way. I used to escape the hurt of my past and present, thinking it was the easiest way to cope-or so I thought.
After years of therapy, I had convinced myself that my traumas, my relationships with my family, and my mental health struggles would never improve. So why not try again?
It wasn’t easy. But as I reintegrated into the program [at Portage Lac Écho] and used my stubbornness to save my life instead of destroying it, I succeeded. For the first time, I realized that the easiest coping mechanism wasn’t escaping through substances or self-harm-it was facing my problems head-on. I decided I would no longer fear and run away, but instead, live life to its fullest.
Portage showed me how to be the very best version of myself. It didn’t change me-it gave me the ability to grow and thrive. Even in moments when it felt like the whole world was against me, I learned that I could overcome anything if I just put my guard down and believed in myself.
Today, I am sober. Life isn’t always unicorns and rainbows, but I am truly living my best life. I am the healthiest I’ve ever been, advocating for what I believe in, and thriving in my own autonomous journey to change the world.
I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. Portage played a huge role in shaping me into the person I am today and continues to be my number one support in facing life’s journey.
Kayden, Adolescent and Young Adults – Anglophone Program, Lac Écho, 2022
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Mirna Gallant
I am so happy to hear you have overcome addiction and are living a healthy life. I know it wasn’t easy, but you did it. You should be proud of yourself. I am proud of you. You are a strong young person and I wish you all the best life has to offer. Keep living the best life you can free from addiction. ❤️