A drug-addicted mother, like any other mom, wishes for the happiness of her children. However, she faces greater challenges than other mothers, in part because she must attend to her particular needs, as well as those of her child. Portage’s Mother & Child program allows her to do both, because it does not separate her from her child as she undergoes rehabilitation therapy.
Two Choices
This isn’t Kim’s first stay at Portage. She graduated from the Mother & Child program a few months ago and went home to put into practice what she had learned.
“I attended meetings. I could tell they were helpful, but they didn’t meet all my needs. I was spending my days fighting and using drugs. My daughter witnessed all this violence. I knew I had to leave her father and move on from this failed relationship. I had two choices. Do it on my own and fail, or come back at Portage. I came back. The counsellors helped me assess whether her dad’s presence is a positive thing or not. It’s heartbreaking, because she really loves him. But I have to do what’s best for her and for me. And I want her to be safe.”
I expected to be judged because I was coming back to Portage. And I know the effect therapy can have, and it’s not always easy on you. But I came back with a proactive attitude, because I know what I want. The first time around, I hadn’t entirely given up on alcohol. Now I know I can’t ever drink. I realized that very quickly when I went home.
Getting Back Up
Re-entering rehabilitation can be scary. One may be afraid of being judged, of having to start all over, of reliving certain things.
“I expected to be judged because I was coming back to Portage. And I know the effect therapy can have, and it’s not always easy on you. But I came back with a proactive attitude, because I know what I want. The first time around, I hadn’t entirely given up on alcohol. Now I know I can’t ever drink. I realized that very quickly when I went home.”
When you relapse after having graduated from a rehabilitation program, all sorts of painful alarm signals go off. Kim just knew, when she started using again, that she had to go back to Portage.
“I’m here because I relapsed. My daughter remembers Portage like her second home. She’s glad to be here. She didn’t have a problem coming back, it was as if we were going on vacation. We fell back into our routine, which we had both lost when I started using again. Relapsing is no fun, but at least it made me realize what I hadn’t understood the first time around.”
The Mother & Child program allows mothers and their children to grow together in an environment designed just for them.
“We work a lot on consistency, as well as on many other psychosocial competencies we teach. For example, mothers must learn to communicate effectively with their children, to express themselves appropriately around them, to share their knowledge with them, to make them participate in daily chores. The therapeutic community helps them bond,” says Catherine, Kim’s counsellor. “We work with them so they develop empathy towards other women. Leadership is also key, as they must take on certain tasks that require them to stand up for themselves. All this work drives them to become more autonomous and more self-confident.”
“I’m glad I discovered Portage. Their approach is perfect for women who want to change and to become drug-free. The therapeutic community has a powerful mirror effect. We are surrounded by women who have gone through the same things, with whom we can learn to overcome barriers, and with whom we can learn to be honest. We all have the same problem: drug abuse.”
I saw girls do the program and successfully re-enter society. But I also saw some who have fallen back. It’s huge work, to put into practice everything we learn at Portage. As long as we’re here, we feel good, it’s easier. But outside, when you’re on your own, it’s another game altogether. I have to be honest with the counsellors who are here to help. If I don’t tell them what’s happening, I’m not helping myself to get better. Coming back here, I realize that I didn’t work hard enough on certain competencies. This time around, I’ll make sure I do.
Giving Oneself Another Chance
Kim gave herself another chance. She has to take full advantage of it, take her life back into her own hands, and not let herself down.
“I saw girls do the program and successfully re-enter society. But I also saw some who have fallen back. It’s huge work, to put into practice everything we learn at Portage. As long as we’re here, we feel good, it’s easier. But outside, when you’re on your own, it’s another game altogether. I have to be honest with the counsellors who are here to help. If I don’t tell them what’s happening, I’m not helping myself to get better. Coming back here, I realize that I didn’t work hard enough on certain competencies. This time around, I’ll make sure I do.”
Kim is starting her second stay at Portage in the hopes of succeeding and gaining new knowledge. “The Mother & Child program is wonderful. You have the right to go through therapy with your child. We learn to change through our children and vice versa. We rediscover things that had become invisible.”
Read Being a Role Model for My Children
Read The Treacherous Pitfalls of Drugs and Alcohol
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