{"id":40134,"date":"2024-04-23T09:05:09","date_gmt":"2024-04-23T14:05:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/i-knew-i-was-in-an-awful-state-i-could-barely-recognize-myself\/"},"modified":"2025-07-30T13:09:35","modified_gmt":"2025-07-30T18:09:35","slug":"i-knew-i-was-in-an-awful-state-i-could-barely-recognize-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/i-knew-i-was-in-an-awful-state-i-could-barely-recognize-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"I knew I was in an awful state. I could barely recognize myself."},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<p class=\"lead\">I started using so I wouldn&#8217;t have to feel anything anymore. Unfortunately, all it did was make matters worse. I endured some unimaginable experiences: aggression, violence, heavy substance use.<\/p>\r\n<p>I severely neglected my physical well-being as well as my sense of self-esteem. \u00a0I stopped eating, convinced that I was overweight. My relationship with my parents deteriorated. I treated my friends badly and neglected them. I became unkind and said hurtful things. I also lied a lot.<\/p>\r\n<p><strong>I knew I was in a terrible state. I could barely recognize myself. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p>By the time I got to <a href=\"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/quebec\/french-adolescent-program-east\/\">Portage Saint-Malachie<\/a>, I weighed 98 pounds. I was pale and basically just skin and bones. I wasn&#8217;t myself anymore. It&#8217;s been nearly a year now since I escaped that nightmare. \u00a0Portage saved my life and reignited the spark in me.<\/p>\r\n<p>Today, I can truly say that I&#8217;m well surrounded; I&#8217;ve stepped back from the toxic relationships in my life. It was painful, but I&#8217;m now much better and infinitely grateful for all the help I got.<\/p>\r\n<p><strong>I am extremely proud of myself. <\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p>Thanks to all who saw me through those difficult times. I am profoundly grateful. I hope everyone discovers the path to recovery.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Sandie, Adolescents Program, Saint-Malachie, 2023<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p>Share the article:<\/p>\r\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/?p=40134&amp;fl_builder&amp;title=I+knew+I+was+in+an+awful+state.+I+could+barely+recognize+myself.\"> Share on Facebook <\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&amp;url=https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/?p=40134&amp;fl_builder&amp;title=I+knew+I+was+in+an+awful+state.+I+could+barely+recognize+myself.\"> Share on Linkedin <\/a><\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I started using so I wouldn&#8217;t have to feel anything anymore. Unfortunately, all it did was make matters worse. I endured some unimaginable experiences: aggression, violence, heavy substance use. I severely neglected my physical well-being as well as my sense of self-esteem. \u00a0I stopped eating, convinced that I was overweight. My relationship with my parents&#8230;  <a href=\"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/i-knew-i-was-in-an-awful-state-i-could-barely-recognize-myself\/\" class=\"more-link\" title=\"Read I knew I was in an awful state. I could barely recognize myself.\">Read more &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":40132,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[364],"tags":[175],"class_list":["post-40134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-testimonial","tag-adolescents"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40134"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44431,"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40134\/revisions\/44431"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/portage.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}