Antoine’s Testimonial, Youth Program, Saint-Malachie, 2022

Dear God, please give me the serenity to accept all the harm I have endured, the courage to continue fighting and the wisdom to help all those who are hurting. 

My name is Antoine. I am 21 years old, I am an addict and an alcoholic, and I have been recovering one day at a time for 15 months now. It took me 10 years of suffering before deciding to put an end to my substance use for ever.

During those 10 years, I tried in vain to forget the sexual, physical and psychological abuse I was subjected to. But it didn’t help; in fact, it just made matters worse. I started drinking when I was 10 and I started taking drugs when I was about 12. I overdosed on LSD at 14 and lost my sight as a result.

I lived through the hell of psychiatry and was subsequently placed in a youth centre. I attempted suicide several times, went into an ethylic coma, was turned out of my home by my parents, and much more besides. But despite everything, I continued getting high. In short, I waited until I’d hit rock bottom before trying therapy.

I arrived at Portage on January 18, 2022. I was at the end of my rope, devoid of any hope and skinnier than ever. I was completely disoriented and even though I had come to Portage of my own free will, the first few weeks were utter torment and I so desperately wanted to get high. Then, as my body stabilized, I started feeling better. That’s when I realized that if I wanted to change, it was now or never.

At Portage, I found a second family and I discovered I could be happy without drugs. I rediscovered myself, my values and my qualities and was given several tools to help me better manage my emotions. In short, I learned about the key to true happiness.

I’m now back at Cegep and I’ve rebuilt my relationships with the people I love. I’m learning to cope with the grief of losing my sight and have started procedures to adopt a Mira dog so that I can move to Montreal in two years with my best friend from therapy. I plan to go to university in order to become an addiction counsellor.

Thank you, Portage, for helping me save my life. The Portage gang will forever live in my heart.

Antoine, Youth Program, Saint-Malachie, 2022